are you so shy because you have an std?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize