Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
