There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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