don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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