spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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