So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
