At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
