Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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