Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I want a musical about memes.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
