Do vagina's smell?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
