I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
