Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
