will power is for people who don't want to get laid
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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