Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
