just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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