so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
