Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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