At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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