glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize