Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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