i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
