i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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