the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
