Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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