i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?