Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
