We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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