And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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