I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
