Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
