there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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