we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
