Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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