Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
