Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Randomize
