I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
