I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
