her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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