I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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