why didn't you poke me back
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
