you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
