Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
