Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
