"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
