Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
