Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
