If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
