She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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