Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
