Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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