Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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