I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
