is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
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Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
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