And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize