He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
