he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
