my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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